Day 7

   So today is day 7 of not smoking, and it is 2 days before to go back to work in the park.  These last 6 days have been interesting.   The first 3 days there were tears, twitchy sleep and crazy dreams.  The last 3 days have been forgetting about it for minutes at a time.  It is not the very first thought on my mind each day and it is not the very last thing I think about before sleep.  I am feeling good.  I feel proud of myself.
   Yesterday I was angry at a situation I was in and thought at one point, if I only had a cigarette.  My rational side took over and I knew that if I smoked I would still be pissed off at the situation and on top of that I would be angry that I smoked.  That is my rational side.
   I am not always rational.  I have thoughts like, if I get through the winter season in Yellowstone (3 months long) I should have a cigarette and then see if I am really addicted to it and if I am not I can be one of the smokers who only smoke a couple of cigarettes a month.  I also have thoughts like,  I should have just one drag and if it really tastes that bad then I am not a smoker any more.  That is my irrational side.
   I am glad that my rational side has been louder this first week.  I will continue to listen to it.  And when my irrational side starts getting louder that my rational side I have a great backup system in place.  It is my family.  It is my friends.  I am happy to be at day 7 and looking forward to day 8.